Episode 020 – 4 Denials That Can Ruin Your Life
Are you ever hard on yourself? Do you have a tendency to blame yourself for things that are—quite literally—beyond your control? Well, you’re not alone. Lots of people are guilty of being overly critical of themselves. But for you—not anymore. In this episode, Joseph highlights the four most common denials and self-criticisms that, if left unchecked, can ruin your life. Listen to learn how you can keep these four psychological toxins from poisoning the well of your mind.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
● 00:22 – Today’s episode is about the 4 denials that can ruin your life
● 00:37 – Humans are the only creatures that can engage in harsh introspection
o 01:17 – “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” – Abraham Lincoln
o 01:27 – “You can’t fool yourself all the time” – Joseph Tropper
● 02:07 – The bigger you are as a person, the bigger your blind spot
● 02:33 – As a training therapist, Joseph found it helpful to record (with patient consent) sessions so he could go over the sessions repeatedly and assess himself
● 03:29 – 4 Denials We Live with:
o 03:39 – Denial of our abilities
▪ 04:01 – People are good at things because they practice
▪ 05:03 – We deny our own abilities
▪ 05:27 – Ask yourself what your abilities really are
o 05:59 – The look-at-yourself-first approach
▪ 06:30 – Look at yourself first before blaming anyone else
o 06:43 – Denial of the self – we are not aware of our own needs
▪ 07:13 – “There’s this general understanding that the more of a martyr you are, the more you give of yourself and don’t take, the better the parent you are”
▪ 07:22 – You need to take care of yourself and teach your kids to do the same
o 07:40 – Denial of the spirit
▪ 08:08 – If you’re part of a religious group, embrace the spiritual connection
● 09:09 – Ask yourself questions and look at yourself
● 09:28 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
- You can fool yourself all the time – but deep down you usually really know what the truth is.
- You weren’t made to be martyr—learn to take care of yourself.
- More often than not, it’s not that you don’t have the ability, it’s that you haven’t practiced enough.