Episode 036 – 4 Lessons in the Search for Self
How deep have you explored yourself? That’s one question any person should reflect about. Sometimes people don’t realize that the way they act and react to different things is caused by internal factors — these may be past experiences, prejudice, and sometimes instilled beliefs. Let’s talk about the 4 lessons we all have to know in the search for ourselves.
Every day is an example of finding ourselves more. The focus of this discussion will be based on Alice Miller’s works. Alice Miller was severely abused as a child and after becoming a psychologist wrote prolifically about how to overcome childhood developmental trauma. Her book: The Drama of the Gifted Child is a classic.
Lesson 1: There is a deep root of hurt in every one of us.
When working with clients I see the child-parent dynamic where parents are powering giants over children. Understand that all people have this deep root.
Lesson 2: How are future events after childhood are influenced by our childhood traumas.
Parenting skills usually come from past experiences. Recognize your patterns and vulnerabilities.
Lesson 3: Break free.
Start by recognizing your hurts. Human beings are not capable of giving unlimited love, although we try. Your parents failed you, even if they were the best people. If they were healthy, then their love and care carried you far. If one or both of them were not well, this is something that you can explore and deal with. Childhood traumas are not easy to deal with. Mourn over your traumas and be willing to let them go.
Lesson 4: Emotional freedom.
Tap into yourself and be unapologetically focused on self-care and self-discovery. Find a friend, mentor or therapist whom you can confide in and learn to get in touch with your true self.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
● 00:25 – Today’s episode is about 4 lessons in the search for self
● 00:43 – Every day is an example of finding ourselves more
● 00:51 – The focus of this discussion will be based on Alice Miller’s works
● 01:33 – Joseph talks about Alice’s book, The Drama of the Gifted Child
● 03:00 – Lesson 1: There is a deep root of hurt in every one of us
o 03:30 – In his work, Joseph sees child-parent dynamic where parents are powering giants over children
o 04:28 – Understand that all people have this deep root
● 04:49 – Lesson 2: How are future events after childhood are influenced by our childhood traumas?
o 06:18 – Parenting skills usually comes from past experiences
● 06:45 – Lesson 3: Break free
o 07:21 – Start by recognizing your hurts
o 08:30 – Human beings are not capable of giving unlimited love
● 08:49 – Lesson 4: Emotional freedom
o 09:58 – Tap into yourself
● 10:35 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
- Understand that in every person, there is a deep root of hurt that can be affecting the way this person acts/reacts.
- Childhood traumas are not easy to deal with. Mourn over your traumas and be willing to let them go.
- No person/parent is perfect — accept the fact that no one could ever give us unlimited love, safety, and security the way we want to receive it.