Episode 037 – Loneliness: 6 Steps Out
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Humans are social creatures and being lonely is almost inevitable in a person’s lifetime. What people often don’t realize is, there’s no need to feel the loneliness — there are people around whom they can connect with or they can turn inward and process their feelings.
Let’s talk about 6 steps and tips in overcoming this feeling.
Loneliness is REAL. We all feel it at times and it can be all consuming. Evolutionary psychologists explain that people survive better when they are in a group and people learn skills from being around others. Therefore, it is innate in most humans to feel the need to connect with and to be a part of a group. With this in mind, we can understand the power of Mother Teresa’s quote: “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”
Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings.
As I often quote Dr. Les Greenberg: “You can’t leave a place, until you arrive there first.” The first step is to become aware of what you are feeling. Feel the feelings in your heart, mind and even in your body.
Step 2: Self-Talk.
Notice what you are saying to yourself. It is the self-talk and negative messages that make us feel even worse. We can learn to speak to ourselves with more compassion and self-love.
Step 3: Find meaning and focus.
If you are alone, take a moment to contemplate purpose. This brings context and significance to your experience.
Step 4: Look at your social setting.
We all need to interact with others. Expand your circle and go to meetups or events with like-minded people so you can meet others. Social media does NOT take the place of friendships.
Step 5: Have a default reading, walking, and talking list.
Use this list when you are feeling sad. Allow it to give you direction.
Step 6: Do something kind for yourself or to another person.
When we share love and kindness with ourselves or others, this helps us feel better.
Never fault yourself for being human. It is normal to feel lonely sometimes. Take action to help yourself feel better.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
● 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
● 00:27 – Today’s episode is about the 6 steps out of loneliness
● 00:42 – Loneliness is REAL
● 00:54 – “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” — Mother Teresa
● 01:13 – Loneliness is something that people experience
● 01:54 – Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings
● 02:25 – Step 2: Self-Talk
● 03:39 – Step 3: Find meaning and focus
● 05:01 – Step 4: Look at your social setting
o 05:37 – Social media does NOT take the place of friendships
● 05:56 – Step 5: Have a default reading, walking, and talking list
● 06:35 – Step 6: Do something kind to yourself or to another person
● 08:01 – Loneliness is NORMAL
● 08:14 – Connect with us at Mind Your Mind
3 Key Points:
- Acknowledge that loneliness is a normal thing that people feel.
- Changing the negative self-talks to positive ones can make a huge impact.
- Reach out to people and find social connections.