In this episode, Joseph breaks down self-parenting into 4 steps. Nobody is perfect in this world; in fact, we are all flawed and our parents are no exception to this rule. So what do we make of the hurt and pain that was caused by our parents? Moreover, how can we learn to self-parent ourselves and fill in the gaps from our childhood? Tune-in to hear the 4 steps of self-parenting that are essential to our well-being. Joseph will explain why we need to love ourselves, the importance of setting up healthy boundaries in relationships and the value of self-reflection and more when it comes to parenting ourselves.
Time Stamped Show Notes:
- 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
- 00:22 – Today’s episode is about Self-Parenting in 4 Steps
- 00:47 – Learning to self-parent is an essential quality all people must learn
- 01:26 – “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” – Frederick Douglass
- 02:06 – In an evolutionary psychology perspective, emotional self-care takes place through different processes
- 02:55 – Our vulnerability (especially as children) opens up room for hurt and mistakes from parents
- 03:30 – As we go through the list, look at your own life
- 03:49 – Step #1: Self-Love
- 04:13 – Someone with no self-esteem is easily swayed to think of themselves as failures
- 04:41 – Love yourself for who you are
- 05:01 – Appreciate who you are
- 05:15 – Step #2: Healthy Boundaries
- 05:20 – Some boundaries parents set are either too heavy or too soft
- 05:59 – How do you interact with others?
- 06:34 – Relationship dynamics are all about boundaries
- 07:28 – Have a healthy boundary on give-and-take
- 07:42 – Step #3: Self-Reflection
- 07:59 – Sometimes people do things without thinking
- 08:20 – Parents with severe blind spots is very tricky for a child
- 09:14 – Self-reflection means being aware of your own blind spots
- 09:45 – Step #4: Self-Soothing and Self-Regulation
- 09:58 – “We need to learn to take responsibility for our behaviors”
- 10:55 – The most functional homes still have missing pieces
- 11:34 – You don’t have to keep falling off track
- 11:40 – Be your own parent by self-parenting
- 11:46 – Please leave us a comment on Mind Your Mind and a review on iTunes
3 Key Points:
- Our parents are not perfect and neither are we – being hurt by our caregivers is an inevitable part of our human experience.
- Creating healthy boundaries with others is one way we take care of ourselves.
- You don’t have to rely on parents OR our past to dictate how we respond to life—you can self-parent yourself.